As a student, obviously I’m not “wise to the world” yet. Even so, there are certain aspects of life that completely baffle me. Of course, also as a student, I’m too lazy to even think about trying to find out why these things are the way they are. I’d rather just complain about it all on a blog:
Those Fucking Speed Bumps
(Courtesy of http://www.zombiezodiac.com)
Look at that thing. Just look at it! If you can’t immediately see the problem with it, you’re an idiot, but I’m feeling kind, so here’s the low-down: These fucking speed bumps are narrow enough that you can drive over one at 60 miles an hour and suffer no consequences as a result.
Forgive me for possibly missing a beat here, but aren’t speed bumps all about consequences? Consequences are paramount to their very reason for existence. They’re meant to fuck your shit up if you don’t slow down! Clearly someone at the Department for Speed Bump Design and Control (Commonly DSBDC) needs to get fired if they haven’t already.
Corporate Bullshit
Listen: I’m all for equal opportunities, but maybe it should have a different name. Something like “We don’t give a shit what race you are, hand over your CV.”
The problem I have is with shit like this:
(Courtesy of http://www.blaenau-gwent.gov.uk)
You see this kind of garbage all over the place. Corporate images, as well as student magazines for job opportunities, are littered with pictures that grossly over-represent minority groups. I don’t give a shit if you hire a Chinese person, but it’s obviously not going to be to the kind of ratio this image suggests. If you were to take this particular picture as a guideline for hiring, you’d need three whites, two blacks, an Indian/Asian, an oriental and a disabled guy in equal measure every time you’re adding staff to the company line-up.
It might be minutely more acceptable if the minority groups wanted to be over-represented, but it’s clear that they don’t:
“What the hell is this shit?” - Something I just imagined a hot oriental chick saying… Whilst banging me.
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So maybe these two things are a bit random. I did pull them out of my ass just before writing this piece, after all. But if both of these problems were made right again, the world would be a better place. Motorists would be able to pull off sweet jumps in school areas, and those inhabitants of other countries whose only connection to the UK is a subscription to “Graduate Jobs Monthly” wouldn’t be so misinformed about how many Asian people work here.
Tags: minorities, speed bumps, stupid