So, here is a rant about students, and some stuff about girls in particular. If you end up hating on me, it’s only because you secretly know I’m right and that you wish you could change this sick, twisted, vicious circle. But you can’t. No-one can. The student disaster that is “popular people” will perpetuate itself into eternity:

1) Club nights.
So Monday is Tiger Tiger night. Who gives a flying fuck? What is it about Monday that compels you to go to a specific club and do the same thing every single week? It’s like Sunday throws a switch in students’ brains, telling them that they must buy queue-jump tickets for the next day. This actually applies to so many other club nights as well. So what’s the only reason that students “have” to go to Tiger Tiger on a Monday, or to Come Play on a Saturday? “Everybody else does it”.

2) Fake Tan
Stop putting this shit on. There are two possibilities for NOT looking like a douche: A real tan, or pale skin. Both are natural, both look completely normal, and neither of them will get you any weird looks, unless you’ve been cooking your skin on a beach in Jamaica somewhere and you’re naturally orange. Fake tan looks fake. I’m sure that the girls using it know that it does, so why do they continue to do it? “Everyone else does it”.

3) High Heels
High heels seem to be such a staple of the clubbing girl’s life that I’m loathe to suggest that there’s anything wrong with them. Most girls would likely widen their eyes to the size of plates in horror if I mentioned anything about taking away their “Clack-Clacks”. The problem with high heels, however, is that they’re completely useless:

• Yes, they make you taller. Newsflash: Short girls are hot. No-one gives a fuck if they have to lean a further 3 inches to make out with you, because they’re kissing a girl and they’re lucky to be doing so.
• Yes, they can look stylish. Flat shoes, however, look just as nice, come in the same varieties and colours, and don’t destroy your feet in the process. Plus, you can walk home in them, which strikes me as a fundamental bonus for, you know, shoes.

And since I’m sure that girls know this stuff, or would if they thought about it long enough, why do they continue to wear them? “Everyone else does it”.

4) The Club Friend
This could also be called “Not making real friends”, because that’s what the student/club life leads you to do, as long as you rely on clubs for your social kicks. If you only meet people in clubs, it means that you never talk to them because it’s too fucking loud to do so. You never have a real conversation with them until you see them outside of a club, and by that time you’re already “best buds” with them. This is when you realise that they’re either a complete douche, or have no conversational/social skills in the slightest, apart from being able to get hammered.

And you can’t stop being friends with them, because you go to the same club nights together (See item 1), and have the same club friends as each other. You’re stuck with a person you wouldn’t have wanted to be friends with if you’d just spent 5 sober minutes of conversation finding out what they were like. So you’re relegated to having awkward, pointless conversations with them whenever you DO see them outside of clubs. Usually about the weather. Or the previous club night you went to, and how “crazy” it was.

And I’ve just realised that I’ve written this last item in such a way that I can’t make use of “Everyone else does it”… FUCK.