Being that I suspect I am the only member of the All Nighter team to have gone to the Summer Ball, I feel it my duty to share my thoughts. They were few and far between, I might warn you, because of all the free sex and alcohol they push on you at these sorts of events. You can’t really think ANY thoughts in that kind of situation. Still, here are some things I briefly noticed:

Suit jackets are like suave coats
I believe the technical term for what all the ladies were feeling on Friday night is “cold as fuck”. As in, “‘ere, I’m cold as fuck! Gimme your fag so I can keep my nose warm.” Of course, no-one was speaking like that at the ball, because that sort of riff-raff isn’t let in. There was an elocution test at the door. I got a First.

I mention that the girls were cold, however, because the men were comparatively toasty. The great thing about suits that I had never realised is that when you’re at a function which just happens to be partly outside (The ball, for example), your suit jacket acts as a sort of sophisticated coat. You can wear it inside, and not get any weird looks, but it’s also warm enough that you don’t need anything extra to wear outside. It’s like a double-entendre in clothing form!

No student event is worth £37
The Summer Ball cost me £37. My hired suit cost me £36. There are possibly students who already own suits, but for the many who don’t, that’s a £73 cost before you walk through the tiny gate that keeps everyone queueing for longer than they should. I can be kind, though, and forget the suit hire, because it’s not really a direct cost.

Given that the Summer Ball is the biggest student event on the calendar, according to the university (Who may or may not be an independent and unbiased source of facts on this one), it should be the best. And it probably is. But it wasn’t worth £37. It turns out they make a healthy profit on the Summer Ball. And some might say that they’re right to, because they claim to put all their earnings back into the student experience. to make Cardiff a better place for us.

I’m pretty sure, however, that I don’t take part in most of the experiences that they’re driving this profit back into. I just think it’d be nice if they gave us the tickets at cost price. Enough to break even, and then made profit off of alcohol and food, like they were doing already. Everyone would be happier with the lowered price, and they’d still make a healthy return on the sales.