Ok, it was going to be 5, but I just couldn’t bring myself to cross the extra one off the list. Now, this is by no means a comprehensive list and there are probably many more. These are what I have personally come up with.

6. “Whats the betting I can get this malteaser in the bin from here”

5. “That’s not how my ex used to do it”

4. “Ha! This is like that time i put my dick in a ham sandwich”

3. “Did I mention I had VD?”

2. “Fuck, I forgot to wash it!”

1. “So how’s your father?”