Returning home the other day I noticed a bright red card on the floor below my letter box stating that Royal Mail had tried to deliver a package but couldn’t fit it through the slot. “Fine” I thought to myself, they probably left it next door…

Nope, apparently they decided after the countless times they had left packages next door, today they would return it to the main sorting office. Very well, no issue, I will just pop down there tomorrow and collect it, after all I had done it before.

The Next Day

After spending the night discussing the Mathematics of Politics (or was it the Politics of Mathematics??) with a friend I realised that it was morning and so decided to head down to the sorting office. Now, the sorting office is about a 30 minute walk from my house so while it isn’t a trek it still requires some effort.

Making my way into the kitchen I prepared for the journey ahead by inventing the bottle of coffee. With that and the trusty red card I started to make my way.

Town was quiet, it was 7 in the morning, there was the odd window cleaner and McDonald’s employee about but that was about it. Venturing in further I passed some builders on there pre-work break and then crossed paths with the commuters - the breed of people who for some reason decide they need to take the train every morning to get to work.

After crossing town everything died down again, the sorting office was in sight and I was in high spirits since the coffee had just kicked in. Passing Sell Fridges (No that’s not a misprint, there is a shop in Grangetown called Sell Fridges and they sell fridges), I was almost there and nothing could stop me..

Except the gate to the sorting office itself.

I tried everything. Pushing, pulling, praying…nothing worked. I decided I must be early and so went across the road to a shop to buy a bottle of over priced coke.

Then it was time to attack the gate again, after studying it’s behaviour for a few minutes I noticed a bright red button to the side. I pushed it. An attractive voice spoke back and after hearing of my epic adventure told me to try pushing the gate again…It opened!!!

Yay!! I was in! What followed next was the mundane act of handing over my card an retrieving the package. Leaving the premises I was once again confronted by the gate - It didn’t open from the inside either!!!

Pushing another button repeatedly seemed to work and I was free to exit.

After that drama I was walking down the street back home, navigating Cardiff’s extreme road crossing track - I assume they built this to train the school children ready for 2012. I noticed something, the package I was handed was about the same width as a standard letter box and was about half the height. I tried posting it through my letterbox when I got home…and hey presto! It went straight through!

Good ‘ol Royal Mail