Of Christmas
By Jamie • Dec 12th, 2008 • Category: ArticlesSo, it’s that time of year: chestnuts are roasting on merry gentleman and people are rocking around the jingle bells. But what is Christmas?
Christmas is wrongly perceived to be the celebration of a Jew - born to a virgin, in a stable - during a very busy tourist season (modern scholars believe mid-June), about 2000 years ago in Bethlehem.
In fact, the celebration of a festival around the 25th of December dates much further back. Similar to most Christian festivals, Christmas was a way of splicing their belief system with all the others around at the time (it just makes good sense to have a holiday when everyone else is having one). Here are a few examples:
Saturnalia is the feast with which the Romans commemorated the dedication of the temple of the god Saturn, which was on 17 December. Over the years, it expanded to a whole week, up until 23rd December.
Yule is a Germanic festival which took place between late December and early January.
Hanukkah - yep, the Christians couldn’t even be discrete about this one. Taking place on the 25th day of Kislev, Hanukkah celebrates some Jewish miracle or other. If I am honest, the Torah is a very big book and I am a very busy person. I know it has something to do with oil…and that they get to eat food resembling doughnuts.
There are others…
So, kipping past that - What is Christmas, in the modern sense?
Christmas is a festival where we celebrate consumerism. This is not me being cynical. Every year, we spend billions on presents, decorations, food and drink. For one day we have a day off while we exchange gifts, eat lots of food and if you are anything like me, pass out by three in the afternoon after a bit too much champagne. 
Then there is Boxing Day or as millions of Britons call it, “Let’s Spend More Money Day” where everything is slightly cheaper, in more ways than one. This very fact has led me to the conclusion that the new modern definition of Christmas is: ‘A festival where people take a break to reflect on the modern capitalist society and what they want out of it.’
One final note - Santa Claus. An old man who breaks into children’s houses late at night and leaves them presents if they have been “nice”… Which genius thought that one up?
Jamie Is Awesome. Enough said really. If there was a prize for the most awesome person in the universe...ok it probably wouldn't go to him, Neal Patrick Harris and Hugh Laurie would beat him hands down but Jamie would come in a close 67th.
After a tabloid scandal involving a heavy night of drinking, a church and a teacup he was confined to the darkness of the computer lab where he spent many a day and night perfecting his coding ability.
His amazing ability to code like no man before or after him led to the invention of not only this website but several other pointless sites.
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A rather sceptical article, of course all true, but rather ruining the mood a little. I feel this article would have been better suited to be published a couple of weeks ago. I hope Santa DOES empty his sack in your room this Christmas Jamie.